2009年1月30日星期五

Mr.T 既中文水平

早兩日有網友問我 - Mr.T 係咪竹升?

其實喺廚房打躉得比較耐既網友,都應該知道Mr.T 係竹升來~ 正確d來講,應該話老公係一個識講廣東話,但完全唔識睇 + 唔識寫中文既"假鬼佬" - 會更加貼切!

記得同老公拍拖頭3個星期,我地係全英語對答! 我當時都問過老公識唔識講中文,佢話唔識......直至一次老公同我一齊既時候,99打電話比佢,我聽到老公用半鹹淡廣東話同99對話! (我99英文唔好~)

 於是我問老公: 你究竟識唔識中文架?

 老公: 識講少少.....唔識睇 + 唔識寫,不過講得唔好!

喺我發現老公原來都識講廣東話既時候,我地既對話就開始變成半中半英,直到而家都係......咁究竟我老公既中文有幾唔好呢? 除咗佢自己 + 我既中文名之外,其他中文字一律唔識睇 + 唔識寫! 而且睇見佢寫中文字真係想暈低~~~ 


筆劃錯到離哂大譜!!! 除此之外,老公一知半解既中文水平,完全笑爆咀......

"條女" & "個女"

拍拖初期,有次我同老公提起V爸爸 - 已唔記得係乜事,不過我記得好似係同老公呻V爸爸不是! 具體情況我已唔記得清楚......

老公聽完我呻後,用廣東話同我講: 咁妳係佢(V爸爸)條女來架嘛.........blah blah blah~~~

原來老公當時一直以為 - 廣東話既"條女" = 爸爸 + 女兒既關係!!!


即老公當時認為e.g. 我係V爸爸"條女"; 而我就係老公"個女"~


 我當時好震驚啊~~~~~~ 我即時問清楚老公知唔知道"條女" + "個女"既分別! 結果如我所料......

紏正老公既同時,我亦鄭重地加多句:
 你千其唔可以再搞錯呀!!! 笑Q屎人呀!



老波女 & 菠蘿妹

有次同老公講開中文字,我用紙 + 筆講解過比老公知 - 老婆個"婆"字,上面係個"波"字,下面係個"女"字......

之後老公活學活用,開始間中玩野 - 叫我做"老波女"~
 (個人覺得有少少三級不雅!
)

後來唔知點解,佢開始叫我做"菠蘿妹"!!?!???!


估計係老公想記住"老波女"...從而聯想到"菠蘿"......再久而久之記錯咗做"菠蘿妹"!



強姦個"姦"

朋友Robert + 太太Pauline 現時有3位千金,但Robert 相當恨要仔! 每次佢太太有喜,佢都會廣問朋友 - 覺得佢今次生個仔定女?


我 + 老公知道Pauline 懷第3胎消息當晚......


 老公: 喂~ 妳估今次Robert 生個仔定女呀?


 我: 好老實...我睇今次都應該係女~ 因為Pauline 冇變樣衰!!!


 老公:  點解中國人咁鍾意生一仔一女既?


 我: 因為一個子 + 一個女,加埋係一個"好"字囉~ (我又出動紙 + 筆解釋老公知!)


 我: 好似你、大伯 + 姑仔...兩男一女加埋就係個"嬲"字嘞~ 所以你老豆(即62)個樣咁鬼惡 + 脾氣咁臭!



 老公:  ......咁如果今次Robert 生個仔,會係咩字?


 我: 兩女一男應該唔係字來喎~ 不過都好既,起碼佢地最少會有一個"好"字嘛!


 老公:  咁如果Robert 再生多個女呢? 咁係唔係字?


 我: ......係個"姦"字......


 老公:  咩野係"姦"字????


 我: 強姦個姦呀......


 老公:  (呆咗3秒) 咁我希望佢今次生個仔啦!

結果都係"姦"字......

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

經過我9年幾既訓練,老公既中文水平,已經進步到可以用中文串我既地步!  不過老公仍然有好多我先聽得明,而其他人會搲哂頭既古怪中文......

- 馬路"沉水" - 意即馬路水浸;


- "面油" - 其實係"Menu",餐牌既意思~ 根據老公所講,係62餐館打工既阿叔同佢講"面油"! 我估計係阿叔們其實講緊中式英語,而老公就誤以為Menu 中文叫"面油"......



26 則留言:

  1. WAKAKAKAKK好攪笑......咁都幾有趣喎....
    [版主回覆01/30/2009 23:44:00]我其實唔係好明 - 點解老公中文可以屎到咁?
     
    6299英文屎...咁理應就算老公唔識睇 + 唔識寫中文,理解方面都應該OK 架嘛~~~~

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  2. hehe好攪笑!可能你老公細個嘅時候無睇中文電視劇!我老公雖然都係唔識寫同睇但講就ok佢仲要無bbc嘅口音,唔講都唔知佢係bbc
    [版主回覆01/31/2009 19:33:00]我老公真係冇睇中文電視劇喎! 我而家追緊"珠光寶氣",不過我老公都係唔睇既!
     
    我老公BBC 口音唔算好勁,不過就一定聽得出囉! 而且佢讀某d字個音特別怪~~~~~

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  3. 好好笑呀,講多d嚟聽下丫,

    [版主回覆01/31/2009 19:34:00]一時唸唔起! (但肯定唔止咁少!!!!)
     
    唸到再講妳知吓!

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  4. HAHAHAH! This is super funny! My hubby is not an ABC but his Chinese is just slightly better than yours. He can speak well but when comes to reading and writing, our 5 year old son is better than him. 
    [版主回覆01/31/2009 19:35:00]how come your husband is not ABC but cant read and write chinese well???

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  5. 睇完你篇blog真係笑鬼死人呀
    [版主回覆01/31/2009 19:36:00]好彩我發現早"條女" + "個女"咋!!!!!

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  6. "面油" = "Menu"~~~~~哈哈
    [版主回覆01/31/2009 19:53:00]搲頭呀呢!!!?!?!

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  7. Mrs. T....笑死我啦... 不過JC成日都分唔到幾時用 睇 / 讀... 仲有落雨 / 落水... 一時唸唔到...仲有好多好多... 不如你又問下Mr. T, 佢又分唔分到唷... 呵呵....
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 03:42:00]睇來...好似JC 中文水平比Mr.T 更水!
     
    讀 + 睇我老公都仲分得清楚既~
    話哂我都訓練咗佢9年幾嘛!
     
    其實嚴格來講 - "落水"係唔錯得哂果喎!!!
    客家人講"落大雨"就係講"落大水"架嘞~~~
     

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  8. 得閒要再講多啲黎聽下啦
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 03:45:00]啱啱又唸到1個 - 溜冰...我老公成日講做"騎冰"! 教咗佢好多次都係騎冰!!!  騎呢就有佢份~~~~

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  9. Super funny  In furture would you teach your kid  in chinese or just talk to them in english ar
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 03:56:00]i will def teach my kids chinese by myself~ i think it's a shame that to be a chinese but who cant read and write chinese! esp i have a friend who is scottish and he can speak really good mardarin~~~

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  10. 係喎,你6299同你老公用咩話溝通架??真係冇理由咁差架喎,
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 04:03:00]佢地用廣東話溝通囉!
     
    我老公 / 大伯 / 姑仔 - 佢地全部中文都唔掂! 佢地有時同6299講野,有好多野佢地真係唔知中文係乜,咁佢地就會同6299講英文,不過6299 多數都係唔明......如果依個時候我唔出聲既話,佢地就會由佢算數架嘞! 都幾雞同鴨講架~~~~
     
    啱啱我又唸到一個嘞 - 溜冰...我老公叫"騎冰"!!
     

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  11. 我的BBC都有 "沉水"過......
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 04:05:00]咁可能BBC 真係叫沉水!  
     
    只係我地井底之蛙.....

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  12. 英國既客家人叫 menu 做 面油架!
    仲有好多只有呢到既客家人先聽得明既廣東話........
    例如: 疏格、蕃Kherr、打帶、盪卡........等等等等
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 06:50:00]咁我會覺得 - 係咪客家人都好,根本"面油"就唔係中文來~ 因為點講都係menu 個音來既!
     
    我 + 老公其實都係客家人! 不過我地唔識客家話,真係唔知佢地講乜.....

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  13. 你老公好攪笑呀!
    我老公都係傳統嘅中國人, 佢都鐘意有個"好"字, 所以佢生咗個仔, 宜家想生多個女, 佢話咁樣人生就好完美咁!
    [版主回覆02/01/2009 21:03:00]我都幾婆仔~  所以我都覺得有仔有女就最好嘞!
     
    咁妳幾時生多個女呀?

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  14. 我兩個細妹都係唔識睇和寫中文
    其實佢地都唔想學
     
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:39:00]其實我老公十幾歲時都有返過社區中文班~ 不過妳講得啱...我估我老公同妳2個妹一樣 - 冇心去學! 所以中文咪咁屎囉~
     
    咦...咁妳好叻女喎!  妳2個妹唔識中文,妳不單止識,仲會中文打字!!!!

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  15. menu係面油 ,真係妳唔解話..........我都唔識比反應
    好咗女嘅3次方佢都知係乜,即係希望人哋第三胎係仔,都仲有得救,不過真係辛苦妳囉
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:35:00]啱啱又唸到個 - 佢講"粉絲"時,會讀成"粉屎"!
     
    不過咁多年我都習慣哂佢d騎呢中文......如果佢突然中文變好,我可能反而唔慣!!!

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  16. 買d小時我地練毛筆字個d比佢寫下丫麻hahhaa~ 話晒都係中國人 點可以唔識中文架
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:32:00]我相信已經太遲嘞!  
     
    而且我老公好串 - 每次我笑佢中文屎,佢就同我講法文!!!!!

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  17. 哈.......比Mr T笑屎啦
    沉水同面油靚豬都唔知係咁解呢~
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:31:00]仲有個...妳識唔識"騎冰"呀?

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  18. "老波女".....你又提起我既記憶喇.....哈...哈.....睇到呢到,忍唔住笑左出來喎!!
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:30:00]我都記得~ 妳果時仲話想嗌我"老波女"添!  我話唔好...因為怕比人以為我地斷背嘛!!!!  
     
    咁妳又估唔估到咩野叫做"騎冰"呀?

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  19. This is so funny!   But before I laugh at Mr. T, I should be careful with my son first.  Even though I teach him to speak Cantonese everyday, I found he speaks Cantonese with french accent!   Just hope that he may able to change his accent later on......
    Like you, I've prepared myself to teach my son to read and write Chinese. Let's check the result in a few years.....
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:23:00]i think to be a chinese must learn chinese! i know it maybe hard for someone growing up in foreign country which chinese is not 1st language! however, at least should have a basic knowledge about your own root~
     
    for Mr.T...i think it's a bit too late!

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  20. 新年快樂, 心想事成!
    Mr.T 已經好好啦!
    我堂姨個老公(即姨丈)一句都唔講, 但佢聽得明廣東話, 還因為阿姨比表妹同弟學中文, 有微言, (我強烈懷疑佢唔應同自己是中國人的身份) !
    我的BLOG剛寫下汁醬食譜, 有空look下啦!
    [版主回覆02/02/2009 19:16:00]多謝~ 我都祝妳牛年快樂,身體健康,事事如意啊!
     
    咁我都覺得老公既中文水平,並唔係我見過既竹升中最差果個!  只係比較搞笑~  
     
    我都識得幾個好似妳姨丈咁既BBC - 聽得明但唔識講唔識睇唔識寫!  點解佢唔認同自己係中國人呀???  我都不知幾自豪自己身為中國人~ 有幾千年文化既歷史背景!
     
    好呀~ 我一陣過去吖!
     
     
     

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  21. 騎冰????? 唔識呀.......
    [版主回覆02/03/2009 08:21:00]"騎冰" - 係Mr.T 首創既潮語"溜冰"咁解!

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  22. Because he immigrated to US when he was really young and didn't study any Chinese after he left HK. 
    [版主回覆02/03/2009 08:40:00]OIC~ then he's more like an ABC than a Chinese!

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  23. 開估啦,我估唔到呀..咩叫"騎冰"呀?
    [版主回覆02/03/2009 22:50:00]係"溜冰"咁解 - 我老公個版本!

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  24. 哈哈!仲有"乾蒸"、"畫布",我聽倒既時候都覺得好好笑
    [版主回覆02/23/2011 22:32:00]"乾蒸" + "畫布"係咩來架?
     
    就咁聽落都唔算怪吖,廣東話都有乾蒸 + 畫布呀!
     
     

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  25. 你食唔食乾蒸 (燒賣) 呀? 比本畫布 (magazine) 我丫! 第一次聽果陣真係r哂頭!但又好好笑 xD
    [版主回覆02/24/2011 22:16:00]OIC! 咁我老公由細跟6299去飲茶,而且一定會叫燒賣,都知道燒賣係叫燒賣既......
     
    至於畫布,佢唔識"雜誌"就會照講返magazine~
     
     

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  26. Really love your blog. Any offence I apologise :)
    [版主回覆12/31/2012 19:59:59]i have to say your previous cm really looked like a troll and that's why i deleted it. anyway no hard feelings~

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